200 Best Funny SMS

Best Funny SMS for Friends and Other

Funny SMS

1:- Agar dosto ke ghar jao

Usko bulane to sab se

pahle uska baap nikalkar

esa ghurta hai mano

hum Talibaan se taluk

rakhte hai

2:- Student - Sir mai ne esi chij banai hai

Jiski help se aap diwar ke aar-paar

Dekh sakte hai

Sir-Waah kaya chij hai

Student - Chhed....

Sir-de thappar..de thappar..

3:- 1 ladki ne Flipcart ka slogan dekha-

"Ab Har Wish Hogi Poori"

Usne Flipcart wale se poocha

Ek Sanam Chahiye Aashiqui Ke Liye

Flipcart wale ne bhi kah diya-

Yeh Akhaa India Jaanata Hai Hum Tumpe Marata Hai

4:- 1 sunder ladki apne kapre utar kar 1 nadi me nahane ke liye nadi me utarne wali thi

tabhi waha 1 police wala aaya aur bola- madam nadi me nahana mana hai

Ye dekho Sign Board me likha hai

ladki- to phir tab kyo nahi batya jab me kapre utra rahi thi..

Police wala- Madam Sign Board pe ye nahi likha hai ki kapre utarna mana hai

5:- Aaj ke Digital World me- Jiska koi nahi uska Mobile hota hai

6:- Lalu demands royalty from producers of movie ‘Raid’ thinking it’s a biopic on him.

7:- 2 paagal chhat par so rahe the

Achanak barish hone lagi..

Pehla paagal bola-

"Chal neeche ghar me chalte hai..

Aasman me chhed ho gaya hai"

Etne me bijli kadki..

Doosra paagal bola-

chal so ja yaar lagta hai welding waale bhi aagaye hai

8:- People of Delhi are going to a coal fired power stations to enjoy some fresh air.

9:- Girlfriend uploads unedited selfie on WhatsApp; Boyfriends fail to recognize her.

Girlfriend sad Boyfriend socked

10:- Happy Vs. Tension- "KHUSHI" Ek Aisi Cheez hai, Jo Aapke paas na hone k baad bhi Aap Chahen to Dusre ko de Sakte ho.. . . . . . . .

Maze ki Baat Ye Hai k "TENSION" Bhi Aisi hi Cheez Hai.

11:- Pappu ke papa ne ghar ke Internet-WiFi ko band karva diya

kyoki papu sara din Whatsapp-Facebook par Friends-Girlfriends se

chat karta rahta tha....

Kitne mahino ke baad parosi ka bina password ka WiFi Connect ho gaya

Toilet mein phone saath lekar gaya Pappu 5 ghante tak

nahin nikala baahar, gharvaalon ne darvaaza tod kar nikaala

12:- Boyfriend ne bina naam likhe de diya Girlfriend ko "I Love You" Greeting Card,

uske Girlfriend ne doosre Boyfriend ko badha diya aage.

13:- Delhi boys,youngsters openly smoking at house now, says parents or guardian

can not see or smell cigarette smoke in this Smog.

14:- Notebandi hue poore 9 mahine ho gae hain,

Badhai ho ladka hua hai jiska naam G S T hai

15:- Had to tab ho gai jab Bihaar mein ladate hue ek aurat ne doosari se kaha,

"bhagvaan kare agale saal tera beta Top kar jaaye."

16:- Akshay's new movie that's about to release - Toilet.

How would you ask your friends out for the movie? 

Chalo Toilet Chalte Hain. 

And Whatsapp status updates? 

At toilet with GF and two other friends!

17:- Once in a forest after a party all the

animals were eating Kamla pasand Paan masala

But Girraffe was not eating that one.

Lion: Why are you not eating Kamla pasand.

Girraffe: I only eat Manikchand...Unche Log Unchi Pasand Manikchand

18:- Aadhar Card ka office band tha,

Card Banwane wale ke liye lambi line lagi hui thi,

Ek aadmi bar bar line me aage jaane ki koshis kar raha tha,

log bar usse pichhe pakar kar khich dete the,

ussne 5-7 bar koshis ki,

fir har kar bola-

lage raho line me salon,

aaj Office hi nahi kholunga.......

19:- Aajkal online shopping main 100% Cashback aa raha hai

matlab jarurat se jyada kharche karo aur phir 100% Fool+back

20:- Kaun Banega Crorepati laaya DP(Display Photo) Contest 1 din

mein sabase zyaada Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram pr

"DP" Change karane vaale boys, girls, housewife ko milenge 1 crore

21:- Heavy Traffic ke beech gap dhoondhane mein naakaam raha bike savaar yuvak Pappu Singh,

Traffic police- Harilal ne kaata bhaari chaalaan

22:- Sadak ke gaddhon mein lagaegi Nagar-Nigam wi-fi

taaki mobile pe baat karte samay gire logon ka baatchit band na ho

23:- Delhi me badte Crime aur Pollution

ke dekhte hue Devlok es natije pr phuche hai ki,

Delhi mein hi kholi jaaygi Narak ki 1 branch

24:- Sadak par chalte samay yuvak ka poora dhyaan smartphone (mobile)

ki jagah sadak(Road) par tha, Traffic Police ne dhara...

25:- kal Achanak wi-fi ka signal band ho gaya, fir kuchh chhanbin karne par pata chala ki.....

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padosi ne bill nahi bhara. Duniyan me bhi kaise kaise kangal aur Gair Jimmedar log bhare pade hai.

Pura Din kharab ho gaya yaar.....

26:- Jab koi itna khas Ban jaye

Uske Bare Me sochna Ehsas Ban jaye

To Mang lena khuda se use zindgi bhar k liye,

Isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS Ban jaye.

27:- When WORDS fail, eyes speak.

When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.

When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…

28:- 1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya. 

Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai.

Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte

29:- Height of addiction:

In a School Form, when a student asked about the "permanent address", a student wrote "WhatsApp"!

30:- How do u know when kids start to grow up?

Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

31:- Agar aap kisi se pyaar karte hai to hi neeche padhiye...

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Ruk teri mummy ko btati hun.......Auntyy.......

  ('.') 

_/ \_

32:- Apane room mein 2 window dekhkar chaunka yuvak,

Whatsapp band hone par pahali baar kiya gaur

33:- Whatsapp,Facebook, Instagram ki vajah se ghareloo mahilaon

par kaam ka bojh hua doguna, Whatsapp bhatta degi sarkaar

34:- Guinness World Records book mein naam darj

karvaane ke lie kanpuriyon ne gutaka thook

kar banai sabase vishaal Laal Rangoli

35:- Pappu Ola Share Car me mein poora shahar

ghoomate rah gaya aur nahin pahunch paaya office.

36:- Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?

Banta- haan

Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi

Banta- oye

pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte!

37:- Badhti Mehangai aur Ghati Kamayi ko dekhkar Aadhar card ki nahi balki udhar card ki jrurat hai

38:- 1 Ladki se 1 Ladke ne dil manga to ladki ne kaha kal dungi 

Next day ladki apne sath bachha lekr ayi or ladke ko de diya kyu?

Dil to bachha he ji

39:- Importance of thumb- Child use it4sucking.

Illiterate people use it4sign, 

Winners4victory & my FANS use it4reading

my sms Oh U too? Crazy Fan

40:- Bahu ke 1-2 afair sunkar 

PATI ne jaan de di 

3-4 afair sunkar SASUR ne jaan de di. 

Lekin SAAS chup rahi kyu? 

KYUKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI

41:- Adhyaapak: kya padhaoon aaj?

Ladka: Sir, aaj Nikah padha Dijiye, roll no.-7 ke saath.

42:- Mill gaya Mill gaya ATM ka hindi naam mill gaya:

A-account me hoga 

T-to hi

M-milega

43:- Kya apko ladkian pasand hai?

Kya aap ladkion ki baten sunna chahte hai? 

Kya aap hmesha ladkio se ghire rehna chahte hai? . . . 

To beta Golgappe ka thela laga lo.

44:- Height of Addiction: Just b4 a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!! 

He said- I want to update MyOrkut status as DIED ..!!

45:- Tcher:Shadi Kya Hai? 

Stdent:Kunwaro k Liye "Alpenlibe" Jee Lalchaye Raha Na Jaye:

Aur Shadisuda k Liye "Cloromint" Dubara Mat Puchna.

46:- Ladke vaale ladki ke ghar gae.

Ladka, ladki se: aapaki shiksha?

Ladki: MF.I.A.S 

Ladke ne aage Degree ki detail yah sochakar nahin 

poochhi ki kaheen ladki use Uneducated na samajhe. baad 

mein ve log chale aaye aur shaadi bhi ho gai. shaadi ke 

baad ladke ne ladki se poochha ki, ye MF.I.A.S kya hota hai?

usane bataaya, "Matric Fail in All Subjects"Ladka behosh!

47:- main jab bhi mitron ko Online dekhata hoon

Dil mein sukoon hota hai ki main akela hi phursat mein nahin baitha hoon,

kaam dhandha inake paas bhi nahin hai.

48:- Ladkiyan lal rang ki lipstik ke bish sheds me bhi aasani se antar bata sakti hai 

aur ladke shampoo ki bajaye condishner se naha lenge aur gaali de kar bolenge....

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kaun laya ye shampoo? jhag hi nahi hai saale me.

49:- Santa Dukhi Tha

Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?

Santa: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,

Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu

50:- Delivery k baad bachche ki mutthi band thi,

Muthi khol k dekha gaya to usme iPill ka tablet tha or hath me likha tha,

Jako rakhe saiya mar sake na koy

51:- (?_?), (?_?), (?_?), (?_?), (º??º), (?_?), (.`_.´), (?° ?? ?°),(???)

These are my friend and girlfriend funny faces who do not send me funny sms and why are you laughing?

Your funny face also here just select yours........

52:- Ek ladki match dekhne gayi,

lips par india ke tirange ka rang laga tha,

ek ladka aaya kiss kar gaya or bola

I LOVE MY INDIA :)

Have a Nice Day

53:- Asahisnuta (intolerance) badh raha hai, Delhi par ISIS ka dron hamla karne wala hi tha ki....

maine Private news channel badal kar DD

news laga liya.....Thank GOD..abb sab thik hai

54:- A Santa was working 1st time in a garment shop.

A customer girl asked:

Underwear dikhana plz.

Santa thora sharmakar:

G aaj nahi pehni.

55:- If a boy gives a love letter to a girl, people call him LOAFER But if a gal gives a letter 2a boy, they call it OFFER. Feel the difference

56:- Arz Kiya He..

Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK Kar Diya

Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe DiL Me LocK KarDiya

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Aaj uSi Ne Facebook Pe BLocK Kar Diya..

57:- Fulo ki hasi Gulab hai, 

Padhne k liye jaruri kitab h,

Duniya me hr sawal ka javab h, 

Agr koi mere bare me puche 

to keh dena Arre wo toh LAJAVAB hai....

58:- 80 saal ka Buddha rape case me jail gaya. 

Dost:- Tune is umar me ye kiya kaise?

Buddhha:- Koi rape nahi kiya.

Ye to Ilzam itna mardana tha ki

mana kar nahi paya ...

59:- Ladka: Viber use karti ho..??

Ladki : ufff! You un-educated ladke bhi na !!

Dear Viber nhi Viper hota hai..

Haan main kabhi kabhi use karti hun jb

paani Jyada ho to

warna pocha hi lagati hun...

Ladka : hahahaha

Bus kar pagli Rulayegi kya.

60:- Aaj bhi hamre desh me

Tu pyaar hain kisi aur kaa

Tujhe chaahtaa koi aur hain

Tu pasand hain kisi aur ki

Songs sunkar 10 me se 7 ladke

bahut emotional/senti ho jate H

61:- Ladkiyi bhi azeeb hoti hai

tayaar hone ke liye Beauty Parlour jaati hai

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aur

Parlour ke liye bhi tayaar hoti H

62:- Boy : I am in love with you totallllllllllllllllllYYYYYYY.

Girl : Tu totla! Tela baap totla!

63:- Jailer to Qaidi– Suna hain tum Shayar hò

Kuch sunaò yàár

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Qaidi – “Gum-E-Ulfat me jo zindagi kati humari

Jis din jàmanàt huyi zindagi khatam tumhari”

64:- Chali jati hain wo beauty parlour mein yun,

Unka maksad hain misaal-e-hoor ho janà

Ab kon samjhaye en ladkiyo ko

Mumkin nahi kishmish ka fir se angur ho janà

65:- Ankhon se barsààt hoti H

Jab apki yaad saath hoti H

Jab b busy rahe mera mobile

Samajh lena aapki hone wali

Bhabhi se meri baat hoti hain

66:- Ïshq Ke Rishte Itne Najuk Hote Hain...

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Raat Ko Number Busy Jane Se hi Toot Jate Hain

67:- I’am looking 4 a bank loan which can perform 2 things..

give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

68:- Police : Park main aise tum duno kyun baithe hoh

Man : Hum dono shaadi shuda hain.

Police : Toh ghar main baitho

Man : Iska husbnad nahi manega.....

69:- Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you are in Heaven or more then that.....

70:- Boys hostel ke bathroom mein likha tha..

Apne bhabisya apne haath mein hai...

to socho Girls hostel ke bathroom mein kya likha hoga?

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Apne bhabisya se ap Ungli na kare..

71:- Ek ladki sadak par akeli jaa rahi thi, pichhe se ek Ladka Pucha : Ghar tak lift chahiye kya?

Ladki : Bhag jaa kamine 2din se lift le rahi hoon abhi tak ghar nahi pahuchi.

72:- GF- ab raat ko phone karna....

Boy- nahi raat ko baat nahi karege warna

tu mar jayegi

GF- kese?

Boy- Aaj mummy kah rahe the ki raat ko tu

jis churrel se baat karta hai wo mere hath

maregi kisi din

73:- Minister to Wife: Sach sach batao, kitni bar humse bewafai ki hai ?

WIFE: 3 Baar,

MINISTER: kab kab?

Wife: Jab aapka heart ka operation hua tha, Doctor ke Paas gayi thi,

Fir jab aap jail me band hue to judge k paas gayi thi,

Minister: Aur kab?

Wife: Jab aapko sarkar banani thi Aur aapke Paas 10 MLAs kam the..!

74:- Bechapan me maa kahte the

tumko kuch samgh me nahi aata

Jawani me wife kahti hai

appko kuch samgh me nahi aata

Old age me bache kahte hai

appko kuch samgh me nahi aata

Purus ki samghne ki umar konsi

ye samgh me nahi aata

75:- A very funny msgs written on the T-shirt of a gorgeouspretty girl

wearing very tight dress walking on the road:

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"Dear Dude you are not looking at the road, please be careful".............

76:- Aaj ke jamane me aap appne dost ke sachha dost taab tak sabit nahi ho sakte jaab tak

aap aapne single dost ki kahi setting na karwa de........

77:- Sacha Pyaar wo hai......

Jo Aankhon se Kajal na bhne de

Aur Hoton par Lipstick na rahne de

78:- Facebook WhatsApp ki ladkiya

chips ke packet ke tarah hoti H

ladko ko pata bhi hai ki milna kuch bhi nahi hai

Sirf hawabaji hai phir bhi jadaa bhaw dete hai

79:- My dear friends do you know MY Life

Is Running successfully on a simple principle

"Bhagwaan Ke Bharose"

MY dear friends - chanting this Mantra on road/bus/train/footpath

You get money again N again -"Money making spcl mantra"

"bhagwan ke naam paar de de Baba"

"bhagwan ke naam paar de de Baba"

80:- Kaamwali nahi aai ho aur bibi pochha laga rahi ho

to saala pair bachakar aise nikalna padta hai

jaise ….

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Naxaliyon ne landmine bichha rakhi ho aur

Galti se baaruud phat na jaaye !!!

81:- Husband chahe jitna bhi kharch kar de....

Shopping karne ke baad wife ‘Thank You’ dukaandar ko hi bolegi !!!

82:- Maggi ke baad Mantos ki bhi Janch Honi Chahiye

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Kitna khaa chuka hu lekin dimag ki batti aaj tak nahi jali yaar

83:- Husband : Kaha gayab thi 2 ghante se?

Wife: Pass wale Mall me gai thi Darling, shopping karane.

Hubby: Kya kya liya?

Wife: Ek hair band aur 45 selfies.........funny sms for sharing on WhatsApp

84:- Wife : I have a good news and a bad news dear.....

Husband : I am very busy right now... Just give me good news only

Wife : the airbags worked properly in our new Ferrari Car.....

85:- Ye waqt ki nazakat h

Bdalte doar ki majboori hai

ladko ko ko parathe

Aur

ladkiyo ko karaate

sikha bahut jaruri hai

86:- If Girlfriend’s not Replying,

Try This.

Text Her : “Ek Baat Batau Yaar.?”

She : “Haan Batao..?”

Then Say, “Rehne Do.”

Count Her Messages Now......................

87:- Funny Relationship Status-

Chalti Hai Gadi

Udti Hai Dhoool

Ek Ladki Ka Number MilaVo Bhi Gaya Bhool...

Coz I am super Cool

88:- Pahli baar me laga wo meri hai

Uski aakhe samundar se bhi gahri hai

propose kar kar ke thak gaya

Phir pata chala, wo bahri hai......fresh funny sms

89:- A very small love story

1st sight 1st love

Girl with very cute eyeI am tired of proposing that girl later on I came to know that girl was dump

90:- Figure wali ladki aur jigar wale ladke

kabhi single nahi rahte....boys girls funny sms

91:- 1 Aurat ne tazi se aa rahe bus ko hath dekhkar roka

Driver ne achanak break mara aur poocha-kaha jana hai?

Aurat boli kahi nahi, 

Chota becha bahut ro raha hai

Jara horn to bjaa do-poo poo poo poo

Interesting funny sms for sharing on WhatsApp

92:- Duniya ki sabse samghdaar wife kaha payi jati hai

only

only N only in serial of Star plus, Colours, Sony

93:- Raaja Harischandra ki patni ne unse

ye sawal poochne ki galti kabhi nahi ki..

Me kesi laag rahi hu batoo to...

warna wo bhi Satyawadi nahi rahte...

94:- Yaaro hum bhi bechpan me Shee Krisna ke sman cute sweet beche the

wo to jindi ki bhag-dor ne mughe Bharo Baba bana diya

95:- Jinki shkal dekhkar shisha tut jaye

aajkal unka bhi 2-4 setting hai had ho gaye yaar...........funny joke of the day in hindi

96:- Friend- Yaar Tiya ne mughe-I love you text kar diya hai

kaya karun?

2 Friend-yaar sabse pehle screenshot le...1 print out bhi le le..

Ladkiya kaya pta kaab mukaar jaye

Aur bandhu yahe sms tumko usnke Mushtanda Bhai aur "kharus baap" se 

bechayega na.....clean funny sms

97:- Cute to mai bechpan se he hu jab me peda huwa taab mummy to kaya,nurso ko bhi mazbur kar diya tha chummi lene ko!!

98:- Yu dekha naa karo hume haste haste

Yu dekha naa karo hume haste haste

Mere yaar bahut Gustakh hai

kah denge Bhabhi Jee namste

99:- Phle koi ladka kisi ladke ko chhedta tha

Dusre ladke Hero ke tarah use bechane pahuch jate the

Lekin aajkal video recording karne lagte hai

100:- Shukar hai Maggi wapis aa gayi warna kai ladkiyo ne

toh hobbies me cooking ki jagah 'paani ubalna' likh liya tha

101:- Golu- ye dekh mera naya iphone 6 S

Girlfriend- Darling mughe bhi chahiye

Golu-tum iphone 6 S lekar kaya karogi?

tumko miss call hi to karni hoti hai

Call to mai karta hu...

102:- Smartphone(mobile) ghar par bhool jaane ke kaaran yuvak ne

pahali baar dekha aaspaas ka nazaara....whatsapp funny sms

103:- Why Indian women have red Dot(Bindi) on their forehead?

Becasue they record everything.. every time you talk to your wife

and husband mind should remember that-

"This conversions may be monitored or recorded 

for internal traning quality purposes and would be used against you any time"

104:- Breaking news - Big Boss season 11 me ladai-ghagra kafi kam ho gaya hai

esiliye Big Boss ne wild card entry ke liye Kim Jong Un ko beja invitation....

105:- Twitter par Tweets huwa hai Whatsapp par Sms aya hai-

Gujraat Election main jis din Hardik Patel Sabha Sambodhit karege...

Usi Din Usi wakt BJP ke Sabha main Sunny Leone bhi aayegi

Suna hai Sunny Leone Ladke se hand shake ke sath sath ladko ko Hugging bhi karegi....

106:- Supreme Court ordered to ban Haldiram's Nut cracker and Kurkure Nut Cracker

in Delhi NCR during 31 december and Happy New Year Eve 2018

107:- Aap Camera ke Nazar main hai..Notice ke fayda bahut hai

Ye dekhte hi Sharif-Badmash, Chor-Uchakkey saab Savdhaan ho jate hai

Chahe CCTV Camera kharab hi kyo na ho...

108:- uss din mujhe bhi Albert Einstein jaisi filling aaai thi jab Abdul kalam ne kaha tha ki.....

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duniyan ke sab se achchhe dimag class ki last bench par hote hai.

109:- Arz Kiya Hai?...

Wo Aaye Hamare Kabar Per Diya Bujha Gaye,

Wo Aaye Hamare Kabar Per Diya Bujha Gaye,

Aur Diye Me Jo Tel Tha Sir Pe Laga Gaye

110:- Pata nhi kyu
log meri itni respect krte h
main jb unhe msg krti hun to wo apna sir neeche jhuka kr mera msg padhte h
bilkul aapki tarah.
MY CRAZY FANS. 

111:- Ek Ladke Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kamal Ka Phul Diya? funny sms in hindi
Ladki Ne Usko Ek Thappad Mar Diya,
Ladka Bola Me To BJP Ka Parchar Kar Raha Hu,
Ladki Boli Me Bhi Congress Ka Parchar Kar Rahi Hu.

112:- Full form of study - S-T-U-D-Y = [S]inging, [T]weeting, [U]nlimited Texting, [D]reaming, [Y]awning.

113:- HAMARE YAHA
Naya
Purana
Acha
Kharab
Taza
Basi
Tuta futa
SABHI Prakar k SMS Sweekar kiye Jate h
KRIPYA BHEJTE RAHE
Note:
Hamari 2sri koi Branch Nhi hai.

114:- Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain,
Dil me har waqt ek aas rakhte hain,
Jaane kb ho jaaye mulaqaat aapse,
Isliye hm 1 DISPRIN hmesa apne saath rkhate hai 

115:- "If som1 throws a stone at u,throw back flower at him,said GANDHIJI.
..Bt make sure u throw it with d flowervase;-)
YEHI HAI YOUNGISTAAN MERI JAAN..

116:- Awesome answer given by a gf when her bf askd her for a kiss.
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karlo

117:- Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name? Patient: Santa.
Nurse: Birthdate? Patient : 01 Feb
Nurse : Married?
Patient : No, car accident 

118:- Dosto aur Popcorn ke beech me ek common similarity.
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Dono ko thoda sa Jalao to Muh fula lete hai.
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PASS IT TO ALL POPCORNS..

119:- Scroll down if u love me,
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I just knew it.
Bloody Lesbian!!
Love you too. 

120:- Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic k khade ho k auraton ko kyo ghurte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai,
Auraton ko dekhne ka Time 9-11am

121:- 1 sabzi wale k ghar bacha paida hua, 
to 1 aurat bache ko dekh k boli:
kitna pyara bacha hai ?
sabzi wala aadat k mutabik bola
Aur hai b Bilkul taaza

122:- Banta:Kal Mujhe 10 logo ne Peeta
Santa:Phir tune kya kiya
Banta:Maine kha saalon Aik Aik karke ao
Santa:Phir
Banta:Phir kya Saalone Aik Aik karke dubaara peeta

123:- Cricket game, IPL ki wajah se bahut improve ho gayi...
Hume b apna Exam system improve karne ke liye IPL ke steps lene honge...
1-Har paper 1.5 hr ka hona chahiye...
2-Har 30 Mins k bad DISCUSSION k liye break do...
3-Ek free hit do Jisme Student Apni Marzi ka ek answer likh sake...
4-Pehle 20 mins ka power play do, jisme Examiner Hall se bahar chala jaye...
5-Har correct Ans Pe cheer gals dance kare.

124:- Tufani Barish May Raat Ko Shop per 1 Admi Pizza Lenay Aaya
Shopkeeper: Aap Shadi Shuda Hai
Admi: Is Tufani Barish May Kya Meri Maa Mujay Pizza Lene Bhejegi

125:- 16 saal ki laki kamsin hoti hai
17 saal ki ladki hasin hoti hai
18 saal ki ladki rangin hoti hai.
In sabhi se dil mat lagana dost
Q ki ye dil todne wali machine hoti hai.

126:- Height of Innocence- 
Ek Ladki ne Blue Film Last tak dekhi.
Kyuki Usko Laga ki Ladka End me Ladki se Shaadi bhi karega.!

127:- Boy-hum 45 bhai behen hain..grl-kya..!! tumhare ghar popultion check karne wale nahi aaye the?
BOY-aaye the, hum padh rahe the wo coaching smajh kar chale gye.

128:- Call Girl: Wanna have sex? 
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri 
biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein

129:- Ek baar sex education ki class mein ek student ne puccha.....
Maam iske practicals kab honge?

130:- Tujhe kya laga tu chhor ke chali jayegi to me maar jauga
Chal hatt....Ladki hai tu koi oxygen nahi

131:- Mai bhi valentine's day manuga
jis girl ne mughe refuse kiya hai
uske maa baap ko phone karke uski "location" batauga...........

132:- On Facebook Timeline
Boy 1: Workin' out... At Gym..
Boy 2: Cool Dude...
.On Gmail Chat/Whatsapp
Boy 1: Kaha hai bhai..
Boy 2: Bhai LPG gas khatam, Line me laga hu

133:- Ladki Apne friend Se Boli:
Agar Main smart Na Hoti To
Ab Tak Mera 40-50 Bar
R@pë Ho Chuka Hota
Friend: Acha,
Kese Bachti Ho Mujhe Bhi Batao
Ladki: Main Har Baar
Khud Hi Tyaar Ho Jati Hun.

134:- Ek aurat saheli se:
Mujhe bachcha nahi ho raha!
Saheli: Tumhara pati namard hoga..?
Aurat: Mera Pati kya,
Mujhe to tumhara pati bhi namard hi lagta hai.

135:- Ek time tha
jab log apne gharo ke saamne
likhte the swagatam
fir likhne lage welcome
aur ab likhte hai
kutto se saavdhan
kya zamana aa gaya!

136:- Santa studying in 8th standard,
went to buy his books.
Shopkeeper:sorry we dont have
the english book for 8th.
Santa:no prbm, give me 2 books of 4th std.

137:- Read this fast.
Coffeè Coffeè Coffeè
Coffeè Coffeè Coffeè
Coffeè Coffeè Coffeè
OK
Congrats.
You are Selected to
Coffee Boy
Work in the "Railway Station"

138:- 
(".")
<( (>
_! !_
" I am Bodyguard.
Aap ki girlfrnd ke liye,
Jarurat ho to Phone kare.
Mujh pe ek ehsan karna k mujh pe
Koi miss call na krna.

139:- Aadmi ka Dil Bahut bada hota hai,
Aur Aurat ka Bahut Chhota Dilhota h
Aurat k Dil me
Sirf Uske Lover aur Pati k liye hi
Jagah hoti hai!
But
Aadmi ka Dil
Itna Bada hota hai ki Usme
Lover Dost ki
Lover Biwi ki dost
Saamne wali
Bajuwali
Uparwali
Neechewali
Sabjiwali
Doodhwali
Kapdewali
Saali
Kaamwali
Bhai Ki Saali
Aur
Thodi bahut
PATNI k liye bhi
Jagah hoti hai.!

140:- S.H.A.D.I.
S: Shanti bhang
H: Himmat khatam
A: Azadi samaapt
D: Dimaag kharab
I: Imtihaan shuru
Jiski huyi hai
JHELO
Aur jiski nahi huyi hai
Soch lo.

141:- SUGGESTION frm NARAD :-
If ur lover sends you romantic msgs then be vry hppy
Bt
think who z sending those msgs to ur lover?
My job is over!
Nrayan Nrayan.. :-)

142:- How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….

143:- Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,
husband smart banke aya or bola,
“DARLING MEIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU?” tabhi wife zorse chillayi’
CHAKKAAAA!!!

144:- Sardar: Why are all these people running? Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are
others running?

145:- ANew OFFER! Call rates ab Dimaag ke
size ke hisaab se honge.
Jitna chota dimag utne kam call rates.
Congrats!!! U r chosen for FREE CALLS

146:- Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.
Santa: Kamaal hai!
Sab ka nishana chook gaya? 

147:- Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..Aadat se majboor ho tum jane kab mang lo udhar

148:- Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’

Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura

Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,

.

Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai

hai”

149:- A girl comes late to class. 

Teacher: Why a re you late ? 

Girl: One boy was following me, sir. 

Teacher: So, What ? 

Girl: That boy was walking very slow.

150:- You are Bandar It means:

B= Beautifull

A= Attractive

N= Naughty

D= Decent

A= Awesome

R= Rambo… :)

151:- Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado

Santa Aage nahin bada

Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?

Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

152:- Sardar bought a new mobile.

He send message to everyone from his Cell

“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600?

153:- What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool nite with bright moon lite?

.Socho ?

. BOW BOW!

What else can a dog say?

154:- Banta: What’s the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?

Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.

155:- Boy got a 0 in EXAM. His father asked him: YEH KIYA HAY ???

Son replies: TEACHER K PASS STARS KHATAM HO GAYE THAY UNHOON NAY AB PLANET

DAINAY SHURU KER DIYAY HAIN !!!

156:- 4 boys on bike..

Police:- triple riding is banned aur

tum 4 baithe ho.....??

Boys shocked...

.

.

.

look behind..

.

.

and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir

gya...??

157:- Lady Teacher: Mujhe Bachon ki Shakal se pata lag jaata hai ki Unke Dimag mai kya Chal raha hai.

.

.

.

.

.

Student:"Fir bhi Ap Apna Dupatta sahi nahi kr rahi ho!

158:- Teacher: Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Reh Jaae To Kya Ho Sakta Hai.?

Santa: Sir,

Very Simple Sher Chori Ho Sakta Hai..!!

159:- PriVaTe SCHooL Ke BaCHe Zoo Me: ohH!

Wow MNKy iS SLeePiNG DNT DiSTuB.....

GoVT SCHooL K BaCHe in zoo:

OYe Wo Dekh Tera BaaP So rHa H

PaThar Maar SaaLe ko....

160:- When a woman loves you, you're a husband;

When a few women love you, you're a man;

When many women love you, you're a lover;

When hundreds of women love you, you're an idol;

When thousands of women love you, you're a leader;

When all the women in the world love you, you're not human but a gold, diamond, Rupee, Dollar, Euro, Yen...

161:- What's the most most embarrassing moment in one's life?

.

..

...

When nobody likes your Facebook status!

162:- Subah se 21 ladiyo ke call aa chuke hai

sab "I love you" bol rahe hai

jane kis ne afwah faila di hai ki

"Black money list" me mera naam bhi hai

163:- Arz kiya hai….jara gaur farmaiya ga - 

Ladki ke aankh marne par ladke ke Paon jami par nahi parte or

Ladke ke aakh marne par ladki ke chappal jami par nahi parte.

164:- Boyfriend text msgs to his GF, "U love me and not my money, Right Honey?" GF: ¥ € $ INR

165:- PK ke poster me Aamir ne agar radio ke sath ek lota bhi pakra hota

to ye samghna aasan hota ki bina kapro ke amir railway track pe kaya karne gaye the.

166:- Best ways tö write exam:

Löök up för Ïnspiratiön;

Löök döwn för Cöncentratiön;

Look aröund för införmatiön.

167:- Cute Girl: I am 18 and my böyfriend is 38, is that BÄD?

Boy: Sweety Yöu spelt DÄD wröng.

168:- Wen a girl cancels a date, it's because "she has some genuine cause",

but when a boy cancels a date, it's because "he has two".

Not agree - think just opposite

169:- Santa ne banta se kaha yaar bahut machhar kaat raha h

Banta - yaar light off kar do bhir unhe hum dekhi nahi dege

Santa - what a smart idea sirji

170:- Life is a hell when u have american wife. indian salary. chinese car and german food. life is heaven when you had american salary, indian wife german car and chinese food

171:- Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab.

Man: Which part?

Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar.

172:- Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car. Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.

Banta : Dont worry, I have one more.

173:- Aik Charsi Eyes Donate Kerne gaya,

After operation,

Dr. Asks:

Kuch kehna Chahte ho?

Charsi: Jisko bhi Aankhein Lagaao

Usey bata Dena K

Ye Do Kash laganay

k baad He Khulti Hain

174:- Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.

Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

175:- Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.

I don’t know how she got my no,

She interrupts whenever I call someone

and says “Please Recharge Your Card”

176:- True meanings of "GIRL"

"G"= GOSSIP may sab se aagey..

"I"= INNOCENT sirf shakal se..

"R"= RONE ki automatic machine..

"L"= LARAI may sab ki maa...

177:- Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA &PANTY.

Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is notallowed!

Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?

178:- An Aeroplane asks a Rocket

How is that you can fly so fast?

The Rocket replies you will know the pain, when they put fire at your back!

179:- 1 evening i will come 2 ur room, lock the door, turn off the lights, join u in bed. I'll come closer 2 u, my lips near ur face.... & I'll shout: have a gr8 night

180:- TEACHER: you call your Mother as MUM. What will you call your Mother’s Younger Sister & Elder Sister?

Sardar: So simple, i’ll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

181:- Send Me Mesg On These Time

Morning - 6am To 12pm

Noon - 12pm To 4pm

Evening - 4pm To 8pm

Night - 8pm To 6am

Baki Time Tang Mat Karna Kam Karna Hota Hai

182:- Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?

Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye

Bahut sal phle sirf pagl & bevkuf log hi mera sms pdte the &

.

.

.

Aaj phir ek bar ITIHAAS dohraya racha ja raha hai

183:- Makkhi Mar

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?

Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.

Wife: Kitni mari?

Man: 3 male aur 2 female.

Wife: Kaise malum?

Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se…

184:- Girl: Tum haftay main kitni bar shave kartay ho?

Boy: haftay mai nai din mai 30 se 40 bar,

Girl; Kya tum pagal ho?

Boy; Nahi, main

” Naaii ” hon..

185:- Boy ne hospital me 1 nurse se kaha I LOVE U tumne mera dil chura liya hai

Nurse: sharma kar chal jhote dil ko to hath he nai lagaya humne to kidney churai hai.

186:- Which is the most confussing day in America(U.S.A)?

.

Fathers day..!!

coz..

NOBODY knows whom to wish….

187:- Aik rikshaw ke peche likha tha k

"SAWAN KA INTAZAR HAI"

Peche se aik truck aya or rikshaw ko oraa dia(hit kia) or us ke peche likha tha "AYA SAWAN JHOOM KE".

188:- Usne utari saree, fir aayi peticoat ki bari, blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar

ziyadah excited mat ho yaar, yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!

189:- Teacher: OXYGEN is must 4 Breathing… It was discovered in 1773

SARDAR: THANK GOD I WAS BORN AFT THAT.

Sardar: Thank God i was born after that! Pehlay Paida hota to mar jaata

190:- Nurse: Aapke judwa bete hue hai

Sardar: ye toh hona hi tha program hi aise dekhti thi KBC -2 Indian Idol -2 Nach Baliye -2 Great Indian Laughter Challenge -2

191:- Boy: Challte Chalte Yunhi Ruk Jata Hoon Main

Bethe Bethe Yunhi Kho Jata Hoon Main

Kya Ye Hi Pyaar Hy . . .???

Girl: Nahi Ye Kamzori Hy

Subha Shaam Glucose Piya Karo . . .

192:- Shayari by Sardar-

“Ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga,

dusri ladki ko dekha to vaisa laga,

par dono ne thappad mara to ek jaisa laga

193:- Santa ko puri raat Macharo ne bahut preshan kiya…

Santa ne Zehar Piya or Bola.

“Ab kaato Saalo Sab k sab Mar jaao ge”

194:- Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?

Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!

195:- Sardar: In my dreams Rats play Football every night !

Doctor: Take this tablet you will be ok….

Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is Final Match

196:- Pati: What’s hypnotism?

Patni: Kisi ko apne vash mein

kar K us se man chaha kaam

karwana.

Pati: Arey nahi isey to Shaadi

kehte hein

197:- AGAR APKO LAGTA HAI KI AP BEAUTIFUL HAI 

SMART HAI 

CHARMING HAI TO 

KUTTA PALIYE…

SAAP PALIYE..

SHER PALIYE 

MAGAR 

GALAT FEHMI MAT PALIYE. 

198:- Yahoooooo…….!

Exams ki saari taiyaari ho gayi

Pen

Pencil

Scale

Eraser

Sab Taiyyar hai

BUS AB..

Padhna baki hai …

199:- Husband : Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.

Wife :kaun Sa Faayada?

Husband : Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai

200:- Girl:Aaj Mere Papa Ne Mujhe

Tumhare Sath Bike Pe Jaate Hue Dekha..

Bf: Phir ?

Girl:Phir Kya,

Mujhse Bus Ke Paise Wapas Le Liye..!!

201:- Husband: Judge Sahab Mujhe DIVORCE Chahiye,

Meri Biwi Ne 1 Saal Se mujh Se Baat Nahi Ki,

Judge: Phir Soch Lo,

Aisi Biwi Qismat Walon Ko Milti Hai.

202:- Drinkers Movies Banate Toh-

1)Soda Akbar

2)Rab Ne Pila Di Thodi

3)Rum De Basanti

4)Hum Tight Ho Chuke Sanam

5)Beer Zaara

6)Bewde Zameen Par.

203:- Touch it gently, put 2 fingers

inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers,

make sure it’s wet and rub up

and down. Yep that’s how you

wash a cup.

204:- Sir:Tense kitne tayp k hote hai?

Boy: 3 , present, past, future

Sir: gud

Exampl do

Boy:kal apki beti ko dekha tha,

Aaj pyar karta hu,

kal bhaga k le jaunga.

205:- One day,

I Kicked lion's face

I puld tigers tail

I broke cheetas leg

I threw elphants

then TOY SHOP OWNER kickd me out..!

206:- Santa road pe sandas kar raha tha.

Police ne use pakad liya.

Jab use le jaane lage to santa bola :

"sahab saboot to utha lo"!

207:- Doctor: U Look Exactly LIke My Third Wife.

Lady: How Many Wives Do You Have?

Doc : Two..

208:- Teacher: where is everest?

Student: I don kno..

Teacher: U Stand on the desk!

Student: stil cannot see ma'am

209:- GOD: I can't b evrywhere so I created MOTHER.

DEVIL: I too can't b evrywhere soI created GIRLS.

GOD: Dont worry I hav created BOYS to change them to MOTHERS!

210:- A Psychology Report..

When 2 Couples come face to face..??

Wives look at each other's SARIS

&

Husbands Look at each other's WIFE..

211:- Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

212:- 17century mom 2 her son

beta apne religion k ladkise shadikrna

18cntry-apne caste k

19cntry-apne level k

20cntry-apne desh

21cntry-koi bi par ladki se karna

213:- Can a GIRL make u a MILLIONARE?

Yes !

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Conditions Apply:

U must be a BILLIONARE !

214:- Wife:What Will You Give Me If I Successfully Climb & Reach The Top Of The Great Mt.Everest..

Husband:A Gentle Push..

215:- filmon se ladkon ko kya

sikhna chahiye ??

Jannat

Murder

Gangster

Awarapan

Fanna

Titanic

Jo jitni mast ladki k chakar

mein pada utni hi buri mout

mara..

216:- Ek Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhna.

Duniya Mein Kuch Mile Na Mile.

Do Cheezein Haq Se Leni Chahiye.

Ek Samose Ke Sath Extra Chatni

Aur

Dusra Gol-Gappe Khane Ke Baad

Uska Pani .